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Thursday,Feb 5 2004, 03:31:00 AMThis is just a rant of how fucked up people...
This is just a rant of how fucked up people are... Yea you go through shit with your friends, but this is just fucked up. I haven't written anything in a while because I just haven't really had anything to say. I finally told Sarah how I felt, and yea we had a spitting match but we're cool. OH, and she doesn't ask me for money... that's probably why. Perhaps I should explain? Well, Jenna comes and picks up me and John today, complaining about not having any gas and not having any money. Of course, I feel bad, I thought about giving her 10 bucks and sayin she can pay me back whenever. But then I decided against it because knowing how she works, she's gonna make up excuses not to pay me back. Yesterday she said she wants gas money... Ok I barely hang out with them, I rarely ever ask to go anywhere, If I do, it's cuz it's on the way of somewhere else we're going. She goes out and buys a dog for Xander, I don't know if that was with his money, I didn't ask.. whatever. I asked to go to the bank, she said if it's on the way, cool whatever that's understandable. When we go there, I was nice enough to buy the dog little rawhide lollipop treat things... I like dogs, I had a couple bucks to spare. So anyway, they drop me off, then I get a call from John saying she wants 5 bucks a week to take me to school. Well, it's understandable, even though I NEVER ASKED HER to do this for me. John's her bf, not me... so I told him I'd ride the bus, not trying to be a dick but I'm trying to save up money to help me and my gf out. Riding the bus is not that big of a deal to me. So then i'm talking to Sarah, smoking a ciggarette, and hmm.. they pull up, beep the horn (hmm didn't she piss and fucking moan about that?)... I'm on the phone, and they beep the horn. Nice, don't you know, inconvenience yourself by getting out of the car or anything, because I know that crossing the street and coming up to my porch is such a hassle. I go out, she starts bitching about it, I didn't say a word, took out 5 bucks and gave it to her. Wow what a surprise she shuts up, just like a fucking bitch... give her money and she'll shut up. No disrespect John, but that's how I see it. I shouldn't have even given her 5 bucks, I should have given her 2.50, cuz she's taken me to school 2 times, picked me up 3 times, make sense don't it? I don't even think i should have given her that because she didn't spring up with this idea until today... so really, I shouldn't have payed her anything, but whatever I like to help a friend out, even if it is for his gf. Whatever, I don't care... piss and moan all you want that's how I see it. Don't worry, I won't ask for anything else.
Now onto happier times, I read Sarah's weblog, on diaryland.com, and I figure i'd take her idea.. hehe.
I am in love, that's as simple as it is. I love Amanda to death, I haven't been this happy in a long time. She filled an empty void in my left that is always left open when I lose someone that I love very much. Not only did she fill it, but she did so much more, I am happier than I could ever think I could be. I don't even care that I can't see her everyday, that she's 2 1/2 hours away. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Everyday March seems so much closer, but so far away. This isn't an attack on anyone else, but Sarah, you are the best. You haven't criticized me and my relationship with amanda at all. In the end I understand why we haven't spent so much time together, and despite that you still are my best friend. You'll always be in my heart. Love you hun