wasting 2 freaking years of my life away in front of my psp, thats what national service is for. to make the matter worse, i'm weighing a few more pounds heavier. whats this? mid age crisis? everyday was like a routine, you go to camp, flunk your bag down and start to play psp, the clock hits 5 and you rush home for dinner, meet the girlfriend. look forward to the occasional friends gathering. the world move before your eyes and in no time you're already 24 and still feeding off from your parents. my mind is subconsciously asking me to do something productive but consciously its in a blank. for the past few weeks i try to do some flash document to impress myself like how i did last time but nothing came up..

recently there was a misunderstanding with my gf regarding a pic which my friends took and posted in her blog. it was certainly a foolish and stupid mistake to pose like the rest of them, which i did in a drunken stupor. there were so many of those pose which my friends took with one another regardless of status but why couldnt she understand? but what done is done, i admit my mistake. it was my fault for posing like tat with another 'friend'. my primary concern now is whether should i approach her to ask her remove the pic. but everyone have the freedom of right to blog, i wonder what should i do now..

after the news came out about the venerable abbot being charged with several counts of fraud, i was very sadden by the news, to add salt to the wound, my colleagues was extremely unhelpful by adding crude remarks about renchi and the abbot is out to cheat money. further more alot of ppl cancel their giro donation with renchi. i think its time ppl see clearly before making narrow minded decisions, just because of a few blacksheeps, you condemn the whole organisation? were those illegal transaction personal gains for meng zhi? none at all. one is a loan for mandala buddhist society and another one is for his personal assistant a poly student. if the whole renchi organisation is rogue then why still admit in patients? i wonder what will become of the world next time.  

if only i can just walk out of my family, freaking piss off already, a few days ago i have a big dispute over with my parents just because of my sis's ex. tat fucking dispute cause me to surrender the family car keys back to them and now im home bounded. whats more? i'm broke after paying for my ticket to early ord, 1 month's pay just went down that bloody indian pocket, im totally cashless and carless strapped at home worrying how the fuck am i going to turn up for my friends invitation to dinner and another friends birthday. right now if only i can get away from everything that ever matters live my own life, have a job and live in the countryside...