Dear Aunt Lakshmi,

                                   I hope you're doing better in the hospital today,after last night's shock.I sincerely hope with all my heart that you will be alright.I wanted to talk to you about a serious issue that's been screaming to be thrown out in words,but I didn't have enough pluck to talk to you.

It takes me a lot to say this,but I have to talk to you about the volatile issue of your son's actions.I can understand your pain,dear aunt,I know how much it must hurt to get beaten by your own son,the pride of your life.But watching you get beaten like that,it was too much for me to take,aunt.You see,you might think that I'm an insolent brat who always gets her way with her father,bullies him around &c.You know what?I couldn't agree with you more,I am spoilt,I am a bully and I am callous time and again.But I realize my mistakes soon enough.You know why?It's because of my parents.They have this amazing quality,they listen to me,understand me.They are kindred spirits,and have what it takes to put up with my torment.I am not here to talk about their greatness to you,aunt,I cannot put it in words.I simply felt too much to see Karthik torment you this way.He has his own personal demons,aunt,everyone does.I know that you may not want to listen to an insolent child speak to you like a beatific old woman,but I cannot help but let you know of my feelings.Yes,my dear aunt,my love for you hasn't changed inspite of the way you questioned my results.It hurt for sure,but I still love you,aunt,for you are as dear to me as my own blood.I can't stand the injustice happening to you,for you are a good woman.Your heart is pure,but for some reason the Lord Almighty hasn't been good to you,I understand your anxiety,your love for him as a mother who protects and shields her child from harm,but aunt,isn't he going too far,given the fact that he is an adult now,and can resolve his own problems?

Aunt,I know that he is doing wrong to you,but I also have a feeling that everything can be set right now,better late than never.I think the solution to it all is a quick ear and a reassuring shoulder.I think he's having his personal problems,aunt,and since he cannot vent it out in words,he puts it into his actions.That's dangerous,to you,your family and his wellbeing.No doctor can put an end to it,aunt,I know.I've had similar problems myself,I had a psychiatrist,but he can't help me thinking like I do now,can he?I worked it out myself.I think you can atleast curb Karthik's urges to hit if you just sit down,relax,and with a calm mind and heart,listen to him.It's hard for people like him,I mean schizophreniacs,to just sit down and open out like I usually do.But let me tell you this,it was hard for me too initally.I couldn't find it in myself to open out to my parents,because at that time,they too,weren't used to hearing me out.The breakthrough came with my will.I forced myself to be in their company for a couple of hours,it was torture for me at that time,for the only thing i wanted then was privacy.It took about a month or two for me to realize that they could be jovial,fun,and I relaxed more in their presence.Try the same way with Karthik,I know he isn't as deep thinking as me,but he too,needs a vent of fresh air after his mind has been polluted with stagnant thoughts.Cleanse him only as a mother can,aunt,he needs it,he's vulnerable as a two year old child without you and your love.But let Uncle Prasad also have a say in the matter.He may be soft,but he is rather wise with h is words.Karthik needs sisterly love as well,and I'm sure Cousin Aparna would do the job pretty easily.It just takes some calming down on your part.His part?Oh well,if you're patient enough in your quest,I'm sure he will calm down eventually.

Oh my dear aunt,I wish with all my heart that life will be better for you,for I cannot see that deathly pallor on your face,it pains me to see your ache,for I love you like my second mother,even if you might shun me.My father burns with the anger of having seen you hurt,and his love happens to be a brotherly love for you alone.But I want to extend the arms of sympathy for all of you,because you are the nearest family to me.My heart tells me of the pain you feel,and I want to hold you all till it goes away,for it goes without saying that:

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns

And as a mother's heart,I know you feel a lot.

The Great Umbilical
Motherly love is not much use if it expresses itself only as a warm gush of emotion, delicately tinged with pink. It must also be strong, guiding and unselfish. The sweetly sung lullaby; the cool hand on the feverd brow, the Mother's Day smiles and flowers are only a small part of the picture. True mothers have to be made of steel to withstand the difficulties that are sure to beset their children.
- Rachel Billington

God truly be with you,and bless you all the way.

Achingly Yours,

Amru

Adolescence- The immediate thing that strikes anyone on hearing this word is that of hot crushes,flashes of anger,rebelliousness &c.

However,adolescence was not at all what it promised to be,for me as a teenager atleast.I knew I was different from the others,in a deep thinking sense.Haunting dreams proved to be rather irksome,but all of them were chillingly sound.As usual,having such parents who were overconcerned about me,they seemed to think of it as a boyfriend problem.I as such,didn't even have such notions in my head.Instead,chilling dreams of the tsunami,just before it occured,the earthquakes,the growing poverty,was what haunted my mind.It made me rather disillusioned,naturally,I was terrified of the dreams as they hit the nail on the head every time.Criss Angel had some dreams like these too,but I was far too scared to admit the truth of my dreams to anyone.Recently,it had been the shock of the exact image of Mademoiselle Benazir Bhutto's death in my head just two days before the actual incident occured.

I know I wasn't really clairvoyant,and I was a rather deep thinker,for no thoughts of boys,or my personal image or my dresses tugged at me, it was only the world's well being that tweaked my nerve cords.My mother was,and still is,to this day,afraid of me.It isn't very easy on someone when you get the knowledge of your parents being afraid of the very child they'd borne for such a long time.

Off to the psychiatrist, it was,and the funny thing was that I left the psychiatrist flabbergasted and utterly at a loss for words.I distinctly remember his asking me about my interest.I replied it was writing,of,course.He asked me show me some of the thoughts that I meticulously recorded in a little handmade book.I saw his mouth agape when he finished reading the account of my dreams and intuition.I couldn't speak of them to anyone,so I made my confessions on paper.The final verdict was passed,it was that I thought almost 20 years ahead of my own,fragile,tender teenage years.This scared me even more,it isn't very easy on the mind when I saw my parents visibly withdrawing from me,almost shrinking away with fear.The next few months,I started writing in my sleep,yes,writing.I would often fall asleep on my chair,and scrawl quite legibly on paper.No one,to this day,has a sound explanation for that,not even me.

I often feel scared of myself,it's like my mind churns too fast for me to actually comprehend what's actually happening.My parents?Well,they are indifferent to me now,I feel hurt at their seemingly callous behaviour.I know it isn't my fault at the way my brain was designed to be,but I too,am human,and fallible.I do have feelings,bruised too much,thrown about until the pain is so dull,it aches constantly.I just wish someone would atleast try and understand me,I don't ask for much,all I want is someone who can provide me the much needed closure I've been craving for with an intense hunger for the past few years.

Don't be afraid of me,please,I am human too,things work a bit differently for me,that's all.I can't help it,Mom,Dad,I really can't stop my brain from thinking now,can I?I can't cry it all out either,I'm not too lachrymose these days.Open out to me as we did when I was about 10.I just need your love,for I have more than enough to dish out myself.

Will you please hear me out?Just tell me what's wrong,I'd appreciate it if you did.

God Bless,

Amru.

To the Indians,

                      Namaste,and my warm greetings to all of you.I hope you are well.I wish to talk to all of you, of course,keeping the Bangaloreans in mind.I was in the car with my father yesterday, and I happened to come across a particular signal in Bangalore.I don't really remember the name of the road, but I definitely remember the situation right near the signal.We all know that traffic policemen and beggars are abundant around almost every signal in Bangalore, poverty has struck India and pulled her down, but that is not what I wanted to talk about.I saw a beggar, like all,suffering from polio, and he was of course,begging for money.What I didn't realize, was that the man had something to say.Apparently,the man had to "pay" the local policeman, just to stay in that area.I thought it was extreme foolish of the policeman to take a bribe from a poor man, it is the lowliest sin that can be commited by man.it is very much wrong for a man who is trying to buy his daily bread with the money of others, just to pay the local policeman, who should be doing nothing but his duty to the city and the country.It is most disgraceful that such a situation has arisen.Too bad that I did not know who this policeman was,for there were too many around the area, and I knew in my heart, it said that all this was so wrong, it shouldn't be happening around me, all men are bound for equality, but what could I do about it?I know I'm not a philosopher, or a philanthropist, but a hardcore pessimist.I knew I had to urge someone to do something about this, and who better, than the citizens of India themselves?

Please, I beg of you, this is not what equality means.I really want to help this country, and my city as a whole, and I feel that every man should do his duty, and bribery was condemned from the 1950's, but who listens?Remember, this leads to so many other wrong practices, and it has led to our country into dependence on giants like America and Britain.They do have some amount of equality within them, so I think it's only fair that we learn and implement.I beg you, the citizens of India, to rise up, and mutiny against such injustice.It may be a small action on an individualistic part, but on the whole, it will help our mother, India.

Remember this: