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Jugglinbearhead's Homepage http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:05 EDT Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:05 EDT Zorpia.com Letter to someone who really needs it http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1803665 Dear Aunt Lakshmi,                                    I hope you're doing better in the hospital today,after last night's shock.I sincerely hope with all my heart that you will be alright.I wanted to talk to you about a serious issue that's been screaming to be thrown out in words,but I didn't have enough pluck to talk to you. It takes me a lot to say this,but I have to talk to you about the volatile issue of your son's actions.I can understand your pain,dear aunt,I know how much it must hurt to get beaten by your own son,the pride of your life.But watching you get beaten like that,it was too much for me to take,aunt.You see,you might think that I'm an insolent brat who always gets her way with her father,bullies him around &c.You know what?I couldn't agree with you more,I am spoilt,I am a bully and I am callous time and again.But I realize my mistakes soon enough.You know why?It's because of my parents.They have this amazing quality,they listen to me,understand me.They are kindred spirits,and have what it takes to put up with my torment.I am not here to talk about their greatness to you,aunt,I cannot put it in words.I simply felt too much to see Karthik torment you this way.He has his own personal demons,aunt,everyone does.I know that you may not want to listen to an insolent child speak to you like a beatific old woman,but I cannot help but let you know of my feelings.Yes,my dear aunt,my love for you hasn't changed inspite of the way you questioned my results.It hurt for sure,but I still love you,aunt,for you are as dear to me as my own blood.I can't stand the injustice happening to you,for you are a good woman.Your heart is pure,but for some reason the Lord Almighty hasn't been good to you,I understand your anxiety,your love for him as a mother who protects and shields her child from harm,but aunt,isn't he going too far,given the fact that he is an adult now,and can resolve his own problems? Aunt,I know that he is doing wrong to you,but I also have a feeling that everything can be set right now,better late than never.I think the solution to it all is a quick ear and a reassuring shoulder.I think he's having his personal problems,aunt,and since he cannot vent it out in words,he puts it into his actions.That's dangerous,to you,your family and his wellbeing.No doctor can put an end to it,aunt,I know.I've had similar problems myself,I had a psychiatrist,but he can't help me thinking like I do now,can he?I worked it out myself.I think you can atleast curb Karthik's urges to hit if you just sit down,relax,and with a calm mind and heart,listen to him.It's hard for people like him,I mean schizophreniacs,to just sit down and open out like I usually do.But let me tell you this,it was hard for me too initally.I couldn't find it in myself to open out to my parents,because at that time,they too,weren't used to hearing me out.The breakthrough came with my will.I forced myself to be in their company for a couple of hours,it was torture for me at that time,for the only thing i wanted then was privacy.It took about a month or two for me to realize that they could be jovial,fun,and I relaxed more in their presence.Try the same way with Karthik,I know he isn't as deep thinking as me,but he too,needs a vent of fresh air after his mind has been polluted with stagnant thoughts.Cleanse him only as a mother can,aunt,he needs it,he's vulnerable as a two year old child without you and your love.But let Uncle Prasad also have a say in the matter.He may be soft,but he is rather wise with h is words.Karthik needs sisterly love as well,and I'm sure Cousin Aparna would do the job pretty easily.It just takes some calming down on your part.His part?Oh well,if you're patient enough in your quest,I'm sure he will calm down eventually. Oh my dear aunt,I wish with all my heart that life will be better for you,for I cannot see that deathly pallor on your face,it pains me to see your ache,for I love you like my second mother,even if you might shun me.My father burns with the anger of having seen you hurt,and his love happens to be a brotherly love for you alone.But I want to extend the arms of sympathy for all of you,because you are the nearest family to me.My heart tells me of the pain you feel,and I want to hold you all till it goes away,for it goes without saying that: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns And as a mother's heart,I know you feel a lot. The Great Umbilical Motherly love is not much use if it expresses itself only as a warm gush of emotion, delicately tinged with pink. It must also be strong, guiding and unselfish. The sweetly sung lullaby; the cool hand on the feverd brow, the Mother's Day smiles and flowers are only a small part of the picture. True mothers have to be made of steel to withstand the difficulties that are sure to beset their children. - Rachel Billington God truly be with you,and bless you all the way. Achingly Yours, Amru Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1803665 Wed, 14 May 2008 11:23 EDT Adolescence-From an adolescent's point of view http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1801027 Adolescence- The immediate thing that strikes anyone on hearing this word is that of hot crushes,flashes of anger,rebelliousness &c. However,adolescence was not at all what it promised to be,for me as a teenager atleast.I knew I was different from the others,in a deep thinking sense.Haunting dreams proved to be rather irksome,but all of them were chillingly sound.As usual,having such parents who were overconcerned about me,they seemed to think of it as a boyfriend problem.I as such,didn't even have such notions in my head.Instead,chilling dreams of the tsunami,just before it occured,the earthquakes,the growing poverty,was what haunted my mind.It made me rather disillusioned,naturally,I was terrified of the dreams as they hit the nail on the head every time.Criss Angel had some dreams like these too,but I was far too scared to admit the truth of my dreams to anyone.Recently,it had been the shock of the exact image of Mademoiselle Benazir Bhutto's death in my head just two days before the actual incident occured. I know I wasn't really clairvoyant,and I was a rather deep thinker,for no thoughts of boys,or my personal image or my dresses tugged at me, it was only the world's well being that tweaked my nerve cords.My mother was,and still is,to this day,afraid of me.It isn't very easy on someone when you get the knowledge of your parents being afraid of the very child they'd borne for such a long time. Off to the psychiatrist, it was,and the funny thing was that I left the psychiatrist flabbergasted and utterly at a loss for words.I distinctly remember his asking me about my interest.I replied it was writing,of,course.He asked me show me some of the thoughts that I meticulously recorded in a little handmade book.I saw his mouth agape when he finished reading the account of my dreams and intuition.I couldn't speak of them to anyone,so I made my confessions on paper.The final verdict was passed,it was that I thought almost 20 years ahead of my own,fragile,tender teenage years.This scared me even more,it isn't very easy on the mind when I saw my parents visibly withdrawing from me,almost shrinking away with fear.The next few months,I started writing in my sleep,yes,writing.I would often fall asleep on my chair,and scrawl quite legibly on paper.No one,to this day,has a sound explanation for that,not even me. I often feel scared of myself,it's like my mind churns too fast for me to actually comprehend what's actually happening.My parents?Well,they are indifferent to me now,I feel hurt at their seemingly callous behaviour.I know it isn't my fault at the way my brain was designed to be,but I too,am human,and fallible.I do have feelings,bruised too much,thrown about until the pain is so dull,it aches constantly.I just wish someone would atleast try and understand me,I don't ask for much,all I want is someone who can provide me the much needed closure I've been craving for with an intense hunger for the past few years. Don't be afraid of me,please,I am human too,things work a bit differently for me,that's all.I can't help it,Mom,Dad,I really can't stop my brain from thinking now,can I?I can't cry it all out either,I'm not too lachrymose these days.Open out to me as we did when I was about 10.I just need your love,for I have more than enough to dish out myself. Will you please hear me out?Just tell me what's wrong,I'd appreciate it if you did. God Bless, Amru. Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1801027 Tue, 06 May 2008 09:37 EDT Letter to the Indians http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1791728 To the Indians,                       Namaste,and my warm greetings to all of you.I hope you are well.I wish to talk to all of you, of course,keeping the Bangaloreans in mind.I was in the car with my father yesterday, and I happened to come across a particular signal in Bangalore.I don't really remember the name of the road, but I definitely remember the situation right near the signal.We all know that traffic policemen and beggars are abundant around almost every signal in Bangalore, poverty has struck India and pulled her down, but that is not what I wanted to talk about.I saw a beggar, like all,suffering from polio, and he was of course,begging for money.What I didn't realize, was that the man had something to say.Apparently,the man had to "pay" the local policeman, just to stay in that area.I thought it was extreme foolish of the policeman to take a bribe from a poor man, it is the lowliest sin that can be commited by man.it is very much wrong for a man who is trying to buy his daily bread with the money of others, just to pay the local policeman, who should be doing nothing but his duty to the city and the country.It is most disgraceful that such a situation has arisen.Too bad that I did not know who this policeman was,for there were too many around the area, and I knew in my heart, it said that all this was so wrong, it shouldn't be happening around me, all men are bound for equality, but what could I do about it?I know I'm not a philosopher, or a philanthropist, but a hardcore pessimist.I knew I had to urge someone to do something about this, and who better, than the citizens of India themselves? Please, I beg of you, this is not what equality means.I really want to help this country, and my city as a whole, and I feel that every man should do his duty, and bribery was condemned from the 1950's, but who listens?Remember, this leads to so many other wrong practices, and it has led to our country into dependence on giants like America and Britain.They do have some amount of equality within them, so I think it's only fair that we learn and implement.I beg you, the citizens of India, to rise up, and mutiny against such injustice.It may be a small action on an individualistic part, but on the whole, it will help our mother, India. Remember this: <div class="date">Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC</div> <div class="blogbody"> Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander. <div class="date">Frederick Douglass</div> <div class="blogbody"> Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue until they are resisted with either words or blows, or both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. <div class="date">Eugene V. Debs</div> <div class="blogbody"> Now my friends, I am opposed to the system of society in which we live today, not because I lack the natural equipment to do for myself but because I am not satisfied to make myself comfortable knowing that there are thousands of my fellow men who suffer for the barest necessities of life. We were taught under the old ethic that man's business on this earth was to look out for himself. That was the ethic of the jungle; the ethic of the wild beast. Take care of yourself, no matter what may become of your fellow man. Thousands of years ago the question was asked; ''Am I my brother's keeper?'' That question has never yet been answered in a way that is satisfactory to civilized society. Yes, I am my brother's keeper. I am under a moral obligation to him that is inspired, not by any maudlin sentimentality but by the higher duty I owe myself. What would you think me if I were capable of seating myself at a table and gorging myself with food and saw about me the children of my fellow beings starving to death. <blockquote>1908 speech</blockquote> I ask you,once again,to serve only the just,and condemn the unjust,for all time, it will do good to us, as a country, and the world, as a whole. Faithfully yours, Amrutha Varsha </div> </div> </div> Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1791728 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:43 EDT Letter to the world-3 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789978 Dear World,                    Here I am,back again, to worry about all those poor little animals in such trouble at the hands of man itself,rather sick to think of,isn't it?Well,I know mine is not an eay job,travelling all the way from America to Australia purely through the strength of my words,this doesn't bother me,as long the animals are safe.From here on, I will continue my petition: To the Swiss,                     Greutzi!!The playground of Europe,what a fantastic place to visit!!I always wanted to visit Switzerland.I found something missing,though.Behind the facade of a beautiful scenery,I found that the Canis lupus seems to be missing,of course,I am talking about the Wolf.I found it rather putting off that the very majestic ancestors of our common dogs is so few in number.Twenty years ago I wouldn't have complained,because the wolf was found abundantly.Right now,I have to ask,is it always about AAA bank accounts and money pouring in from tourism for my Swiss friends?What about the poor wolves?Won't you clear them some space in that vast landscape,and provide them vital life,for they are the connecting link from the past to the present.Take care,my friends,we need the wolves.I hope you understand what I am trying to say here.I want them to be back with their howls coursing through the land.Do you?Think about it. To the Brits,                   A very good evening to you,chaps.Yes,I am from India,would spark memories of Big Brother, right?Just forget about that for now,for I have a very serious issue to discuss with you.I'm sure you would have seen your backyards often during the rainy season.I am also sure that you would have found little frogs,yes,the Rana Tigrina,leaping about.But tell me,is it fair to kill them just for the sake of it?Do you not recall that it was these very creatures that consumed poisonous insects from our backyards, in a way,to protect us from them?Isn't it time that you live and let live?Be careful,my friends,it would not be good to let something as common as the frog to die out on us,it shows how much we people are encroaching upon Nature's land.I beg you to please,not cringe from saving these tiny little creatures,they are very valuable in their own way too.What do you say? To the Americans,                             Greetings from India!America,the land of prosperity,the land of democracy,and the land holding people who are extremely conservation conscious.I congratulate you on all that,but somewhere in the midst of this bustle,I happened to notice that the Californian tiger is rapidly disappearing.I don't want to chide you on this,but I wish to remind you that Time is pouring rapidly against us, and we may find,one day,that this animal is completely wiped out from America.Now you tell me,is that a good thing?I don't think so.And after all,America's all about To the People,By the People and For the People.I think it's high time that you bestow the same rights on the animals living there,too.Aren't I right? To the Vietnamese,                               chÃ o buá»•i tá»‘i!!!báº¡n cÃ³ khá»e khÃ´ng?I am from India,yes,very close to you guys.I've always wanted to visit Vietnam,but somehow,my heart stopped me from doing so.Do you know why?I shall tell you why.I knew that Vietnam was very famous for the Delacour's Langurs.They are fast receding,aren't they?Now tell me,what is the point of my visiting if I see that these animals are being pushed away from their homeland so cruelly,so brutally?Please,just gather yourselves together,listen to your heart say that what you're doing is wrong,we must make amends together,Time is running out quickly,so hasten,and save the langurs from injustice,let them live in peace and harmony,and so shall you,knowing that they are safe in numbers amongst themselves.Listen to your heart.It is never wrong. To the rest of the world,                                     I may not have individually addressed you,but I'm sure that's no excuse for not sheltering the animals,right?Nature made us have voices,to protest and mutiny against injustice, but these poor animals did not have it in their fate to have a voice to express their feelings.We must have pity on them,my friends,and not blindly kill them as a sport or game.Remember what Mufasa said in the Lion King,we are all part of the Circle Of Life,and we must never,ever,break it,or the peace and harmony on this Earth will be broken forever.We may be at the top of the food chain,so it is our responsibility to protect each and every animal under us,right from the tiny mouse to the great whale.Let me remind you of what some famous people said of animal cruelty. If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth - beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals - would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals?  ~Attributed to George Bernard Shaw When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.  ~George Bernard Shaw The animal shall not be measured by man.  In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.  They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.  ~Henry Beston, The Outermost House, 1928 Remember this forever,and the next time you see an animal in distress,you know who to call,your feelings from your own hearts.God bless you all. Humbly yours, Amrutha Varsha                               Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789978 Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:01 EDT Letter to the world-2 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789028 Dear World,                    Looks like I have to continue my fight for the survival of these innocent little animals.My method is to spread a chain message, for i have a universal voice, through words.I believe that someone, somewhere will elicit a response, however small it may be, but very important for the survival of these mute creatures of Nature.Henceforth, I shall continue addressing some more countries: To The New Zealanders,                                        Tena koutou!An unusual greeting perhaps, but I've heard that you people like it when someone uses the traditional Maori language.Anyhow, that's not what I'm interested in right now.If I recall properly, the Kiwi is the national bird of New Zealand,right?I have some news, all the four species of Kiwi birds are on the brink of extinction.Surprising?The little Kiwi, a rare, flightless bird, found within your land, so famous, and yet in such grave danger.I beg of you, please save the little bird.It won't need much space, even though New Zealand is a small island.Use this fact to your advantage, so that you can work in groups to save the Kiwi.Hurry up!!There is not much time left! To the Pakistanis,                            Asalaam Alaikum!!You guys are very close to us Indians, so I know pretty much everything about your country's politics, welfare, as well as the flora and fauna thriving there.I must express my concern about the threat being posed to the beautiful Snow Leopard wandering about the mountains of Pakistan.The majesty of the animal lies within its beauty itself.I'm sure that we would regret the absence of such a God given gift, from this Earth.Mashallah, let this animal survive.Please, I will get on my knees to pray to you for the welfare of the leopard.May Allah guide you along your righteousness. To the Paraguayans,                              Maitei!!I love Paraguay, such a land of tradition, colour and culture.I love the food of Paraguay, but I have very somber complaints to make.The placid South American Tapir is disappearing so fast.Please see to it that the Paraguayan Government does something about this, the Tapir is a very valuable asset to the already rich biodiversity in the Paraguayan forests, and I'm very sure that if a little caution is taken, the Tapir will regain its original, stable population.Act fast, for Time and Tide wait for no one, not even you, or me. To the Russians,                     Ð”Ð¾Ð±Ñ€Ñ‹Ð¹ Ð²ÐµÑ‡ÐµÑ€!! I have never travelled to Russia, but I do know that you guys are one of the most intelligent people in the world, winning almost every chess championship, not to mention the numerous entries into tennis, and other fields.But that's not why I'm here to talk to you.I am very worried about the Siberian tiger's welfare, as much as IUCN is.Being such intelligent and understanding people, I know that you will realize the danger that the tiger is in, and will not let it go so quickly.I urge you to please, please, save the tiger, it is worth many decades of evolution, and represents one of the most majestic creations of Mother Nature.I hope you understand me, please, act now!!             Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789028 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:33 EDT Letter to the world-1 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789011 Dear world,                   There is so much to discuss with so many people as present in the world right now, but I'd like to discuss the serious issue of the depletion of certain rare animals in some countries.Note that this has been verified by the IUCN in their Red Data Book.A simple Google search will prove my facts.I declare that my research is perfectly sound, but if I have made any blunders herewith, I'd like to be informed about it as soon as possible.I will discuss the respective issues with the countries in alphabetical order as follows: To the Argentinians,                               Saludos to all of you.As far as I have heard, the Argentinian forests are very dense, tropical evergreen not to mention.But there remains a fact I know, but you people don't seem to.Did you ever notice the Jaguar number decreasing everday, in front of your own eyes?Is it right to flay the majesty and pride of Argentina's skin, just in the name of Paris Fashion Week and whatnot?Musn't you do something about it, especially the ever powerful youth?Think about it, food for thought, but take less time, the Jaguars need your help, and quick. To the Australians,                             Good evening, mates.I seek a few words with you, severe, no doubt, all the way from India.You, will of course know the famous province of Tasmania, the legendary Tasmanian devil, who provided inspiration for Tazz in the Looney Tunes series.But did you even realize, that the Tasmanian tiger itself is in danger of being completely wiped out of the face of the Earth?I am severely reprimanding you people, simply because, I know that you people are so conservation conscious, and hence, must not let this be an excuse for letting the Tasmanian tiger slip out of your hands.Let the spirit of Steve Irwin guide you all along the way.God bless. To the Bhutanese,                            Tashi delek from India.Bhutan, the Druk Yul Land of the Thunder Dragon, wow, what a name!!But the youth of Bhutan, will you guys let the beautiful Golden Langur become extinct in its own way, without even thinking that, the Langur is suffering injustice in the very hands of man itself?Think, would Lord Buddha be happy thinking of His creatures vanishing like this in a most unholy manner?Rise up and take action, my brothers and sisters, the animals need you and me, we must work together. To the Chinese,                        Wan Shyang Hau.I speak from India.The guys and girls in China, listen up.This is a universally known fact, but will you let the peaceful panda dissappear completely?WWF and so many other bodies are working towards leading the panda population towards stability, but mustn't you people play a part, however insignificant it may be, like distributing pamphlets, or making little memoirs of the panda, just to make the fact known that the panda is in danger.Don't let the panda just be a memory etched in the history of China, let it live.Please, I beg you, do something. To the Finnish,                       HyvÃ¤Ã¤ iltaa from the far away land of spices, yes, India.I may be too far to talk to you personally, but I do have a universal voice, which you must all hear.Being Finnish, you guys must know about the Saimaa salt lake.But did you know, that within the salt lake, the Saimaa ringed seal needs your help?And that its very survival is in dire jeopardy?I must ask this, though I understand the climatic conditions of Finland, must you always eat the blubber of the seal to stay warm?Can't you compromise for a week or two?Think about those poor animals trying so hard just to survive amongst themselves.I urge you, stop the injustice, and fast.The seal numbers are going down fast. To the Indians,                       Namaste!!!I am an Indian itself, so I have some harsh words for the youth of this country.Did you even realize that the tiger numbers in India are less than 300?Isn't it so shameful that nobody has risen to the occassion to save this wild cat?So you said that the tiger is the "national animal" of India.But is anyone taking care to see that it remains so?It disgraces us all that someday, if we don't care enough, the majestic paw of the tiger will never step on Indian soil, ever again.You speak of progress, of urbananisation, but of what use is it when we sacrifice the animals for the so called "progress"?Please, stop the nuclear deals, and all such nonsense deals, spare some time to see that the great Panthera tigris, yes, the tiger, is ours, with pride forevermore. To the Japanese,                          Konbanwa from India!Japan, the Land of the Rising Sun, such a great country, prosperity, riches, wealth, all yours.But will you see the sun rise in that very land tomorrow, to see that the majestic Japanese Crane is just a memory?That it existed once, but now it is just a myth, for it had been wiped out so cruelly, so brutally?Is it at all fair to think so?I say no.Nature has given the Crane life, but you are providing it no space to survive.Is digitalisation so important now, when the crane is slowly dying out?No, my friends, this must be taken care of.Pay heed to my words, save the Japanese Crane. To the Koreans,                          Annyeong hashimnikka!That was a polite hello from India.I have some very disturbing news.The Korean Goral (Nemorhaedus caudatus) is almost on the verge of extinction.The IUCN have expressed concern, I express concern, but are you concerned?Will you let it go, away from Korea, away from your hearts, and into extinction, while you're just watching mutely?Don't,please don't,these animals are in need of your help, my help, our help, so that they might acquire a small place to stay and survive, isn't this a small price to pay instead of having the whole Goral population just wiped out?If you have any, just any human feelings left, you will see that what I said is right, don't let it nag, just do something about it, take action, now!!                            Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1789011 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:39 EDT Dead Letters To My Family And Friends-5 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1786123 Dear Robin,                   I'm glad you sent me that mail yesterday.I've been missing you ever since last week,I know how angry you are with me.I admit that it was my fault that I didn't visit your place while I was with the team when all of us saved a stray puppy.I personally think it's a trivial reason to be angry with me, but considering your perspective, I know you wanted to be with us too.The point is, that I knew how much you fear dogs, so I tried to keep you away from it, mostly because of how much I like you, and what a dear friend you are to me.I have a confession to make, I've been in love with you for three weeks now.I know that this is rather sudden to you, but that's how things go. I love your positive character, that stood by me when I was so scared during my Math exam in my 12th grade.You helped me envision positively, and now here I am, a free bird. I know you are with your girl right now, I'm never giving you the wrong idea that I want you with me, but what I wanted to say that if you are all alone in the world someday, just think of me, call my name, and I will be there like the wind that flows.I may be a Jane Doe to you, but you are definitely not a John Doe to me, but one of the best people that happened to me, except Kimi and Criss maybe.....ok,ok, that was a weird joke....but you know me, right? I was just about to prepare for tomorrow, but I remembered that I owed you an apology, as well as a confession.It's just in my nature to be so frank and open, and I really apologize if I caught you off your guard by saying this.Take care of Ankitha for me, she's your girl, as well as a very good friend of mine, she deserves every bit of you, for you're a special person, and I wish you guys all the best for your future.I have no say now, because I am back to playing my position of Jane Doe to you, and a best friend to Ankitha. Ann Morrow Lindbergh said, "Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me" Remember that when you see me the next time around. Soberly yours, Amru Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1786123 Sun, 23 Mar 2008 12:25 EDT Dead Letters To My Family And Friends-4 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1785806 Dearest Dad,                     I'm glad you're back home after so many days, frankly, it was lonely in the nights without your silly jokes and pep talks.I might act indifferent in front of you, but that's just external.On the inside, my spirit addresses yours and I listen to everything you have to say.I know you're a self made man,and therefore, wisdom lies in you.Well anyhow, that's not why I wanted to write this letter to you.It was actually about the argument we had a couple of weeks ago about animals.You are not that fond of animals as I am,so naturally,you disagreed with me about what I saw the other day near Atul's place.The snake was being poked about so cruelly by that woman, just so that the poor thing would raise its hood.I know, as an animal lover, that what I did was perfectly right.I did tell you that the fangs were forcibly removed from its mouth, for God's sake,Dad,it was a King Cobra, what India is most famous for, in terms of snake population.Its dignity as a King Cobra itself was in question, and I could even see the small cut where its fangs had been taken out.Now,think logically and tell me, isn't this unfair, that human beings are using animals for their profit, and that too,by making them defenseless.This is absolutely wrong, the snake population is in such dire jeopardy, and we just stand back and watch.I couldn't help that feeling of sympathy towards the poor snake, and the intense feeling of rage towards that woman, both combined into a dangerous milieu.Claude Bernard couldn't be more right in calling the feeling 'Milieu Intereur', rather than extracellular fluid.Anyways, so intense was the feeling that I took the snake out of the crate and I knew by its feel that it was now harmless.It felt limp,poor,and so helpless in my arms.After all, it was just a baby snake. So the only thing I knew was rational enough to do, at that time was to empty my purse for the woman,in compensation for the animal.She however, did not put up a fight and released the snake to me in exchange for the Rs.1000 that you had given me earlier that morning as my pocket money.I was free to spend it as I wanted anyway, so I only thought it fair to "buy" the snake from the hands of Evil.Anyhow, after I bought the snake, my immediate job was to transport it to the isolated forest area in Kabini.I went all by myself to the place, I know you disapproed of it, I am truly sorry, but it was my responsibility to keep the snake safe. It now wanders about in the forests of Kabini, free as it was destined to be. Remember this Dad, <h1 style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; MARGIN: 0px">â€œThe greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treatedâ€</h1> Did you know who said this,Dad?I'll tell you who it was.It was our great Mahatma Gandhi himself. So keep this in mind when you're arguing with me about my love for animals,for there is a basis of truth underlying it. Hisssssss, Amru Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1785806 Sat, 22 Mar 2008 12:42 EDT Dead Letters To My Family And Friends-3 http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1785688 My Darling Pooji,                           That innocent, sweet phonecall of yours yesterday, was great.Thanks from the bottom of my heart for it.I just wanted to speak to you about that.I really loved the way you described Christopher to me, he seems like a perfect angel.Sweetheart, you're just 4 and you're already having a first crush?I really can't believe how fast the younger, new generation is growing up.That is precisely why,sweetheart, I never,ever want you to listen to Michelle.You told me that she has two boyfriends, and she is trying to take away little Chris from you.Sweetheart, Michelle is just upto one of her tricks, and never get influenced by that.Little Chris is innocent, and so it's ok if he looks at Michelle.I've seen that cute blush of yours whenever Christopher looks at you,and I think it's the sweetest thing in the world to see.You kids look like Simba and Nahla to me, such innocent love and friendship.Chris is a good boy, with good grades, but sweetheart, this is much too young an age for you to worry about boyfriends,ok?You told me that you want to be a doctor when you grow up to be a big, beautiful girl,right?Well then big, beautiful girls should worry about their grades and their career, sweety, not their love lives.But when the time comes,sweetheart, I promise you that my beautiful cousin will get the best boy of all, like Cinderella and Rapunzel have their princes, my little princess shall also have a handsome prince to take care of her all her life, and live happily ever after, pinky swear. I'll wait till you come to India,sweetheart,and you shall have those glass slippers you wanted for your Christmas party this year.Yes, I think Chris will like you in that pink tutu.And yes, you can have my blanket for all you want, and how many ever burgers,French fries and ice cream sodas that your little tummy can fit. You were,you are,and you always shall be my darling little princess,that's right,love,you are a little princess to me. Kisses, Amru Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1785688 Sat, 22 Mar 2008 05:40 EDT Dead Letters To My Family And Friends http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1777969 Dear Mom,                   Yesterday we were watching that third rate show when i asked you a question.You never replied,but i still pressed on for the answer, and you reciprocated that with another question for me.No Mom, i don't believe in romance, and you know it very well.Remember how John tagged me along like a little puppy with all his feigned courtship?I know better now that all that was complete nonsense, but at that time, he was one of those Mills and Boon heroes in the books that Aparna used to read.He said he would love me till the end of time, 'TILL DEATH DO US PART', he said, and what of it now?I don't know him and he doesn't know me.It's quite obvious that Katty stole him from me, he thought she looked more beautiful than me.That part is obvious, but he still broke me apart,right? Que sera sera, thanks for letting me know what you thought of it,Mom,it really helped me get over all that nonsense. I've got a question for you,Mom, after all these years of marriage, do you still believe in romance? Romantically Yours, Amru Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1777969 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:30 EDT Remembering my little Grandad http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1772844 A quiet man was he,causing no trouble to anyone on his path.My grandad was my life,having known him as my only grandad,the others being dead.He was a great man,working for ISRO.When i was a little girl,i used to wait on the window sill for him to return from the office.I could even recognize the red ISRO bus.He would come bursting in,and would cradle me gently in his arms until i went into a sweet,blissful sleep.Little Grandad was the only one who would feed me fresh yoghurt.Life went on,and he was thrown out of ISRO for a reason that he wasn't even responsible for.The shock made him forgetful.As i grew up,the poor man still loved me.I used to have a lot of fun with him during the holidays.He never used to let me go in the bus,preferring walking instead.When our family went through hard times,he paid my school fees with his annual pension,bought me clothes for festivals, and presents for my birthday.One thing little Grandad was most admired for was his complete selflessness.I remember driving around with him in the little scooter he had,when our family had no home.I grew up to be arrogant,in the process,forgetting my poor Grandad's love.I used to pinch him cruelly for fun.I had no idea as to what he was going through at that phase.Then came a time when i heard of his weakness,Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases.Now i understood why his hands shook,why he was forgetful and gave the wrong responses to the respective stimuli.I quietened and begged him for forgiveness.I expected him to shun me away,but instead saw tears glistening in his eyes,and my eyes became moist.He never spoke;he couldn't,the intensity of the disease was great.During my 10th grade,Little Grandad couldn't even move from his chair,his body had become uncoordinated,so he would fall very often.Each fall cut me like sharp icicles.After sometime,it was my Graduation Day,where i had to wear a white saree.Little Grandad wanted to see me,he called me up and brokenly told me to come see him after the ceremony was over.I forgot.From then,i never saw him for a month because i was swotting hard for my exams.Just a week before these said exams,i got a call from Hyderabad where Little Grandad and all my family,except me,had gone to attend a wedding.Little Grandad was hospitalized,he was in the ICU.Panic rose up and clogged my throat.I couldn't sleep for 3 days.On the 3rd day,when i thought things were calming down,i ordered a pizza,for no one was at home to cook for me.Midway through the pizza,i got another call.The voice on the other side sounded sombre,informing me that Little Grandad was no more.That was the point where my life completely took a turn.Nobody was at home to console me,and years of guilt for my actions crashed down on me.I sobbed for days,wishing that he would come back;he had been cremated in Hyderabad itself,but i wasn't there to see him go.He died on the auspicious day of Shivaratri,the only consolation i could get was that he died when God wanted him with Him,the most auspicious day for man.The way his death affected me,only I know about it,for i blacked out 3 times straight,i cried during my exams and i was hospitalized for 2 weeks in the ICU,nearly losing my own life for guilt.Sometimes i feel i should go to where he is,somewhere in the Universe,to join him in his bliss.God has not been good to me for the past 2 years,even though Little Grandad always smiles upon me,no matter what i do. Little Grandad would have died 3 years ago by this February 24th, and i still cry for his soul. As Albert Pine once quoted: "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Charles A Beard also said: "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." I still pine for him,i look up at the stars,and behind my eyes,i see him smile. Farewell,Little Grandad,I love you like my own life,Farewell. Personal http://search.zorpia.com/Jugglinbearhead/journal/1772844 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:02 EDT