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QueenofKings's Homepage http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:18 EDT Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:18 EDT Zorpia.com Emma!! http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1444214  This whole journal is dedicated to ma mate Emma who is movin! <img src="http://www.zorpia.com/smi/33.jpg" border="0" />Emma I am soo sorry I never apriciated u wen u was down Cranbrook, Now that u have moved I have realised u wer such a good friend to me! I am writing dis wid tears in ma eyes. Rememba earlier 2 day in lesson wen i came and gave u a hug for the last time?  Do you rememba those days wen we wer in year 8 and we used to mess about in class, we wer so young now we have grown up ( well a bit). Do you remeba the first day of year 9, we wer all lil fresh manz like and we had crushes on guys now everythin has jus gone? Emma am I ever gonna c u again? Hear you make dat hideous impression of me? Do you rememba da good times we had? Da bad times? Do you remeba wen its broke up with all our mates and we got back 2gether? Mated dnt give up on each other I hope you have a good time in Scotland!!Today we was in Assembly ( Im sure u could hear me tlk) and u was infront of me, U was laughin @ ma sad jokes, and every1 was like omgosh emma is goin, I nu i was gonna miss u, Emma  have a great Christmas and pwease visit me again!! Do u remeba wen we was in dat concert today aswell, and I was tellin u bout dat guy and u was laughin, we r neva gonna have dis again omg Emma, u was a really really good mate!!I rememba all dis Emma Ima miss ya guts u was a really really good friend! <img src="http://www.zorpia.com/smi/09.gif" border="0" />xxxxx -ooooo -xxxxxx Lots of Love and Wish u a good future Lisa & Evry1 elseWe are really gonna miss u! Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1444214 Fri, 09 Dec 2005 15:32 EDT Top 10 thing u'll won't hear your father say http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1327335 <table cellspacing="0" width="100%" border="0"><tr><td>1. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 2. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 3. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that. 4. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY. 5. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son? 6. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party. 7. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. 8. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall. 9. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. 10. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.  </td></tr><tr><td><table cellspacing="0" border="0"></table></td></tr></table> Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1327335 Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:26 EDT Male Guide to Perfection http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1327334 <div><div align="center"><img height="21" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203lovee_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Perfect guy<img height="21" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203lovee_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Know how to make you smile when you are down.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />  </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Come up behind you and put his arms around you.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />His hands always find yours.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Be patient when you take forever to get ready.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Smile a lot.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Stare at you.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Call for no reason.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /> </div><div align="center"><img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" />Never run out of love.<img height="19" src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/011203hrt_prv.gif" width="35" border="0" /></div></div> Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1327334 Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:24 EDT 10 reasons 2 have sex http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1306253   TEN REASONS TO HAVE SEX  1. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth. 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every musclesin the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps and you don't need special sneakers! 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! 7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium. 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restrict blood vessels in the brain. 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a national antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1306253 Sat, 06 Aug 2005 10:18 EDT They call it Life http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1289271  They Call it LifePart 1 - Life Life is like a roller coaster it had its ups and downs. Well mine has more downs than ups.A few years ago my grandmother died. I wouldnt say she died but she was killed by her own cousins. The odd thing is I don't think she is gone properly. When I have problems she seems to appear from no where when i was youing no matter what happened if i was upset she called me. I miss her so much but I talk to her when i have troubles i'm scared to tell any one because they will think i'm a phsyco. According to my favourite Philosopher life is fro winnings you have to put up with everythingto be the best but sometimes winning is just not all that. For me life is like a box of chocolates and i don't like chocolat so what ever i get isn't good enough for me. But what is done is done we can't change our past we can only change our future.But the sky is not the limit so think before you act because what some people do in this world damage the rest of us for life. Be proud of what you are. Be proud of what you do. If your like me and people r racist 2 u and pp hate u for ur body shape tell the haterz to clik there heels 3 time and say " I wish i had a life". Keep ya head up high no metta whats happened no metta what n e 1 sayz keep ya head up high! In life nothing more than keeping ya self alive and happy is better. No metta if your ill or wat just stay happy and ya illness will be just sumthin ppl say u have.The world is not perfect and no one in this world is perfect so if any one says to u im betta than u keep ya head up high and  say " U wish". Life is not about getting what you want but life is about wanting wat u got. Anyone who thinks sunshine is pure Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1289271 Wed, 27 Jul 2005 06:25 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288528 I'm pissed still about him lack there of rather why do i feel so absolutely tied and bound to him? I don't get it I've thought of things I could do to try and get over him.  It wouldn't be right though, it wouldn't be healthy. I don't need to jump into a relationship. Nor do I need to have a random fling no matter how "deprived" I'm feeling So I'm leaving the country for 5 months that's a huge step for me I've never been that far away from family, nor have I ever been away from them for that long. I have less than 5 weeks till I leave and I'm sick I need to get better AAHHH So anyway leaving the country I'll be away from everything, everyone I'll be completely out of my comfort zone. Will I meet someone Will I get to see cool stuff or will I be too busy with my studies I bet a million things will go wrong And I'm too lightheaed to worry about it right this second I'm full of coldmedicine and immune boosting viatmins ...and cookies to be quite honest And yet I'm still worried about my love GARY damn I don't need him.  Lord knows I'm living and doing quite well without him.  But I want him.  I feel like a child who didn't get the one Christmas present they wanted and I don't bloody know how to move on from it. When the good Lord passed out faith... I didn't get a large measure. I don't have faith in meeting someone who can make me feel as loved and wanted as he did. I know there are billions of people out there. And I know I will meet many others.  But to meet someone who cares for you and who you care for too and can make you feel so absolutely wonderful. No I don't have faith in finding that again at least not anytime soon. I suppose it is just  as likely for me to meet "that guy" tomorrow as it is for me to meet him 20 years from now. 20 years of being single damn that I'd go insane I know I'm young, even though I don't feel that way, and already everyone around me is in a relationship very close to marriage. Two of my girlfriends have been living with their boyfriends for wuite sometime  and they will both get married I'm sure.  And  another guy friend of mine I'm sure will marry his girl somtetime in the not so distant future. Here I am broken hearted over someone twice my age. what the hell is that all about make no mistake, he's no Brad Pitt nor is he rich We just clicked it just worked i fell completely in love and now I cannot get back up damn my heart Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288528 Sun, 19 Dec 2004 13:24 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288529 my best friend says he doesn't deserve me, doesn't deserve the time i devote to thinking about him, doesn't deserve my love do I believe it? or is it just something she "has" to say because she is my friend Everything is good except I don't have him he doesn't even want me anymore for all I know he is comitted to someone else. I'm bloody tired  should be asleep but here i am losing sleep over this shit a guy a guy twice my age who doesn't want me  that makes me sound pathetic doesn't it people ask  but it's not that i can't find someone my age there is no lack of dates, to be sure but i can't find anyone my age who is mature enough nor is there a guy my age who knows howw to treat a woman their all too bloody young i supose that's not their fault but that doesn't mean i want to put up with them or "train" them up, if you will, for them to eventually know and understand how i want to be treated bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!! is it so much to ask to be loved the way you're supposed to be loved? apparently it is She says there are others for me but she's my friend even though i know it's true--- she has to say that AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i want him to hold me i want to sleep with him i want him to make all my loneliness and hurts go away him no one else Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288529 Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:01 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288530 <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="4" width="100%"><tr><td valign="top" width="1%"><a href="/Amazon/Click.aspx?asin=B0002NRRAG&user=8174433" target="_blank"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002NRRAG.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg" border="0"></a></td><td valign="top" width="99%">Currently Playing <a href="/Amazon/Click.aspx?asin=B0002NRRAG&user=8174433" target="_blank">Careless Love</a> By Madeleine Peyroux <a href="/Amazon/Click.aspx?asin=B0002NRRAG&user=8174433&related=1" target="_blank">see related</a></td></tr></table>I just wanted you<o:p></o:p> I still want you<o:p></o:p> I’d devote myself to you<o:p></o:p> My life to you<o:p></o:p> I don’t care how long I have to wait<o:p></o:p> You are worth it<o:p></o:p> Every minute<o:p></o:p> It’s not that I think things would magically work<o:p></o:p> It’s that I’m willing to make them work<o:p></o:p> That’s why it’s so hard to let go<o:p></o:p> I’ve never found anyone I wanted to do that with<o:p></o:p> Devote to<o:p></o:p> Work through hard times<o:p></o:p> I know you’re not rejecting me but it’s hard not to feel that way<o:p></o:p> I feel like I must have done something wrong<o:p></o:p> Or not measured up somehow<o:p></o:p> What could I do to make you want me the same way?<o:p></o:p> And it seems there isn’t anything<o:p></o:p> You’ve probably already found someone else<o:p></o:p> You’re probably already committed and attached to another<o:p></o:p> I’m just a memory<o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p> But if you ever remember me one day and think maybe something could work<o:p></o:p> I’ll still be around<o:p></o:p> And I’ll feel the same about you<o:p></o:p> No amount of time will change how wonderful I think you are<o:p></o:p> I love you<o:p></o:p> I still love you<o:p></o:p> I love you more than I did the last time I saw you<o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p> I wish you were here<o:p></o:p> I want to be held by you<o:p></o:p> Loved by you<o:p></o:p> I try to tell myself I can’t have it, you don’t want me anymore.<o:p></o:p> But my heart doesn’t want to let go<o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p> You don’t want me anymore<o:p></o:p> Why<o:p></o:p> Why<o:p></o:p> Why<o:p></o:p> I need you right here right now<o:p></o:p> I’m open and I’m willing<o:p></o:p> <st1:City><st1:place>Gary</st1:place></st1:City><o:p></o:p> If you picked me<o:p></o:p> I would put all my effort into making our relationship a happy and healthy one<o:p></o:p> I just don’t understand<o:p></o:p> I don’t understand why that isn’t enough<o:p></o:p> Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288530 Mon, 06 Dec 2004 04:14 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288531 we had the final discussion a few weeks ago.  maybe it has even been a month. i don't know. I told him exactly ow I felt.  I didn't get upset and I've only cried once since then. I told him I love him and I will wait for him if he wants me to.  It is what I want to do. Waiting for him to finish clinicals, waiting for him possibly to get back from iraq. i don't care how long it is. that's how much i love him but he doesn't want me to he doesn't believe it would work he won't talk to me anymore. I'm all alone. I have friends but I wonder how much they really care. I wonder mostly what I am doing here. I don't seem to have much of a purpose. I'm going to France for the spring semester.  I leave in January.  It will be nice to get away.  THere is nothing holding me here.  No one waiting on me or wanting me to stay. So I'll be off.  To study their language and culture.  It's exciting. 5 months away I've never been over seas. it will probably be a rather life changing experience. we'll see i love him.  and i wish he felt the same Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288531 Wed, 01 Dec 2004 17:32 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288532 We had a calm talk over a week ago.  He knows how I feel, to an extent.  I don't feel like I can explain it over the phone. If he asked me to wait for him, I would.  I'd wait years.  I love him. But he won't do that.  He's probably already moved on.  I'm probably not much more than a memory. I want God to give me some kind of comfort.  I don't know what to ask for.  I don't really know if I believe in him intervening.  It just seems like everything in life is pretty random.  Not planned.  So what could I ask for if it's all chance.  I want my love, but if I can't have him.. I want comofort...  I want to not feel so lonely and I want to stop missing him.  It's killing me.  I think about him all the time.  It really interferes with everything.  That's why this semester has been so terrible.  I can't concentrate, I'm making horrible grades. Not to mention I can't afford the study abroad program I've been accepted to.  And can I possibly ask for help with that???????  I mean come on... There are starving people and sick people and hurt people.  God has a lot more to worry about than my education.  So here I am.  Alone Unhappy I don't know how to be happy.  If I can't be with the one I love, why should I want to be here? Is it so much to ask to be loved the way you should be... I want to be loved by the one I love he's thousands of miles away and he gave up on me why the hell should i want to be here? Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288532 Mon, 15 Nov 2004 08:43 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288533 i suppose i made it sound more dramatic than it realy was it's not that he doesn't want me anymore he gave up on something being able to work because of our circumstances he can't control where the army sends him, he doesn't want me to quit school or give up on any of my dreams to be with him.  And he thinks my family will hate him... which is not true i love him with all my heart I will love him for a very long time to come, whether we talk or not.  I wouldn't change a thing about him. he's wonderful.  no one has ever made me feel as good as he did i love him the painting on my page of the girl is by John William Waterhouse.  He's my favorite.  That painting is his interpretation of Juliet.  I feel like her.  Seperated from my most true love.  And I can't be with him.  And he even interprets part of it to be my family not approving.  (what they don't approve of is his age... he is much older than me) anyway i love him that's the bottom line ___________________________________________ Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288533 Tue, 09 Nov 2004 18:31 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288534 I like to change fonts, but I don't much like it when I cannot find one to fit my mood. <IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/whatevah.gif" width=15> I had to work this evening.   Currently I work at starbucks, but I am leaving soon; I cannot stand my boss.  She is the spawn of Satan.   She gossips and is more two faced than anyone I've ever met. I miss him.  He would make a great life partner for me.  And next time I talk to him I'm going to tell him.  I am willing to make adjustments in order to be with him.  They wouldn't be sacrifices, they would just be a different path.  I love him with all my heart.  If he doesn't want me... I don't know what I'll.  I want to cry at te thought of it.  He is such a great person.  We get along so well.  He treated me right and made me feel better about myself than anyone ever has before.  I want to be in his arms more than anything. This torment has been ffecting everything.  I am certainly not doing as well in school as I should be.  And I just all around am uncontent.  I want him by my side. I am dependent on him in some ways.  I'm not sure that is quite the way it should be, but I cannot help myself.  Why is life worth living if you cannot be with who you love? Is it so much to ask, to be loved the way you should be? Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288534 Sun, 07 Nov 2004 10:03 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288535 no prospects everything reminds me of the one I've lost he's everywhere and I am nowhere i've lost my motivation.  I had it for myself, but it is gone now I think about death But more I think about how i jst want a life with him is wrong to ask to be loved the way one should be?  why can't I have that?   Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288535 Sat, 06 Nov 2004 02:07 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288536 I miss him. My little heart has been broken into a thousand pieces how can i possibly pick all those pieces up? In my head, sometimes I can understand why we had to end the relationship... but what i really feel is abandonement.   How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from  fallin down?  Tell me, how can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round? How can you mend this broken woman? Help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.   The Song of Despair (by Pablo Neruda: translated by Merwin) The memory of you emerges from the night around me.  The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea. Deserted like the wharves at dawn.  It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one! Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.  Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of shipwrecked. In you the wars and the flights accumulated.  From you the wings of the song birds rose. You swallowed everything, like distance. Lke the sea, like time. In you everything sank! It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss. The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse. Pilot's dread, fur of a blind diver, turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank! In the choldhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded. Lost discover, n you everything sank! You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire, sadness stunned you, in you everything sank! I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on. Oh flesh, my own flesh, man who I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you. Like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness.  and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar. There was the black solitude of the islands, and there, man of love, your arms took me in. There were thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.  There were grief and the ruins, and you were the miracle. Ah, I do not know how you could contain me in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms! ...it goes on further than this, but you get the idea **** I miss him.  I lament my loss.  I feel sorrow to the depths of my soul.  Every loving song brings him to mind.  Every lonely feeling causes my arms to reach for him.  Every ache makes me long to be in his arms.  Does it make any sense for e to not want to get over him?  There wasn't anything wrong with the relationship.  It couldn't work because of geography.  I can't drop everything to follow him around and he can't quit the army.  i'm sol. abandoned. alone... floating along trying to find myself. trying to fin indeendence again... is it so wrong to want to be loved the way i should be why can't i have the one I want? i know why, but I want a better reason. Why can't I get over him quicker and find the one.  I'm tired of lookings.  I'm tired of the dating game. i don't want to feel lonely   I've been asked out... I've been given 6 different guys numbers over the past week but only one is prospect, and only a couple others are even worth pursuing a friendship with. let's call the prospect Daniel. He is 26, musician,  music teacher... i dunno we'll see he's not .... him Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288536 Mon, 01 Nov 2004 16:08 EDT http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288537   hello wide world of internet I am sad.  I miss my ex-boyfriend.  We seperated ... because of distance ultimately.  Aside from that my parents didn't approve of him.  They hadn't even met him, but his age was their concern.  I tried to replace hi for a while, with school, with activities, with people.  Nothing works.  I miss him so.  Being away from him has left a whole in me larger than I could ever explain.  There are so many things that constantly remind me of him.  There are other people around.  Plenty of date options.  I was asked out three times this week.  I think that's a new record for me, especially since they were 3 days in a row.  But alas, I can't  bring myself to it.  I want ... well let's just call him Fred. Fred... Why did I fall for someone so much older than me you might ask... well I'm not quite sure I can explain it.  Can anyone explain love?  He wasn't drop dead gorgeous by any means, but that's not what is reall important with love.  He treated me great.  He was respectful, affectionate, loving, he made me laugh, and I just loved his company.  I miss him more than anything. We didn't fight.  Nothing went "wrong" per say... he is in the army and once he finishes with clinicals he won't have control over where he goes. I can't just pick up and follow him around.  I have to finish school.  I have to be able to support myself. Then again, I find myself wondering what good is life if I'm alone. <IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/bummed.gif" width=15>    <IMG height=15 src="http://www.xanga.com/Images/sad.gif" width=15> Where are you God???     Personal http://search.zorpia.com/QueenofKings/journal/1288537 Thu, 28 Oct 2004 12:08 EDT