Thursday,Feb 5 2009, 07:37:22 PMa journal about an Angel

June 11th 2008

found out im pregnant im so happy made an appontment to
see how many weeks i am as i dont no my dates can wait
i hope its twins and i hope there girls but i dont mind
i'll be happy with what ever i have just want it to be
happy and healthy.

July 2nd 2008

had my first scan so happy found out im 15 weeks so glad
to be past the first trimester made an appontment for my
20 week scan. can wait to find out what im having.
made my pregnancy official told all my family and friends
there all shocked but very happy for me and paul.
called midwife so to start pre natal care cant wait.

July 23rd 2008

decided to give up smoking, told my midwife she is very
happy and will support me and give the tools to help me
quit it will be hard but its better for me and my baby.
hope i have the will power to do this. scan 2 weeks away
really cant wait.

August 4th 2008

had my 20 week scan today found out we are having a girl
im so happy but no twins as i wanted. lady said we got to
come back as they cant see the babys heart properly she
said it's nothing to worry about it just the baby lying in
an awkard position.
told everyone we are having a little girl we
decided to call her Jasmine Ann we are going to look for
pink things for her. cant wait for jamine to come now.

August 8th 2008

had scan today lady said there's a problem with Jasmine's
heart but needs to do more tests. my heart jumped out of
my chest , im feeling so scared got to make an appointment
see a baby heart doctor today at 4pm worried but hoping
its nothing to worry about.

saw the baby heart doctor and cardiff hospital he did a
scan and then there was a long silence i knew somthing was
wrong just didn't realise how bad. he told us jasmine has
HLHS hypoplastic left heart syndrome or also know as half
a heart.

i just cryed he said we have three choices, a
termination, comfort care or carry on with the pregnancy
and jasmine will have to fight for survival. we decided to
carry on with the pregnancy and give her a chance of life.
i feel so angry, upset, confussed and feel so alone and
isolated. i feel my world is ending and dont know what to.
all i want to do is cry and hope the world swallows me up.

August 26th 2008

had to go to county hospital today told i will have to be
induced 2-3 weeks early and will have to give birth 100s
of miles away at birmingham womans hospital so the baby
can be transferd to birmingham chidrens hospital to recive
imediate neo natal care.
slowly felling better got to be strong for my boys and for
jasmine, i know this is not my fault but i still feel
responsable in some way.
will have to have regular scans to keep a close eye on
jasmine.

September 4th 2008

went to cardiff seen baby heart doctor no change jasmines
heart have not got better but it have not got worse either
seen fetal medicane unit they found more problems, baby
has
i cysit at the back of the brain and there are going to
test for dandy walker varient and Jasmine's ambilical cord
has not developed correctly it only has 2 parts instead of
the usual 3 they say this is nothing to worry about but
you cant help getting worriying, they say not to get
attached to the baby but when you've been carring her
inside of you for six months you cant help but fall in
love with your unborn baby.

November 3rd 2008

Have to go into birmingham womens hospital to stay untill jasmine is born incase i go into pre term labour am getting scared cause im in a hospital hundrens of miles away from my family in a city i do not know and being away from my boys is heart breaking but i know its for the best for me and jasmine just want to get it over with now and keeping my fingers cossed as always.

November 23rd 2008

nothing much happing at the mo just playing the waiting game, and am getting really bored now and i know all the nurses and doctors by name, whats funny is that everyone keeps calling me "the girl from wales" or "the wales girl" lol

December 5th 2008

Doctors came today and say if i dont go into labour by the 15th they will induce me, i am really hoping that does not happen as jasmine will do better if i have a normal delivery, so i am going to try somr natural ways to start labour, hear we go hopfully.

December 15th 2008

HORRAY!!!! i had jasmine today at 2:45pm weighing a healthy 6lbs and 5oz  she is finally hear. now all the problems start. me and my husband didnot get to she her yet they rushed her straight into intensive care ready to be transferd to birminghams childrens hospital. i so do hope she survives this as i could not live if she dies wish us all luck.

December 18th 2008

Jasmine had her 1st open heart surgary today after 5 1/2 hours on the operating table she is doing well and in intensive care we wont get to hold her yet for many days i was felling ok untill a baby died in intensive care of the same problem jasmine has, it really brought it home to me but 60% chance of survival is better than nothing i just hope she is strong enough to survive.

December 21st 2008

Jasmine is doing well, i got to hold her today which was amazing i had waited so long i did not want to put her down, they are also taking her of the many drugs she is still having so she is slowly waking up and i noticed she has the deepest darkest brown eyes which are amazing and absolutly beautiful.

December 23rd 2008

she is of the venterlater now and breathing on her own she is doing really well and beating all the odds, she is my mirical baby and will always be my specail angel.

December 25th 2008

she was mived to the high dependency unit this morring, im so glad that she is out of intensive care she is doing so well they are going to start feeding her now went home today and spent christmas with my boys i was so happy to see they as i missed them ever so much it was hard having to leave them for a second time but jasmine has a long way to go and i needed to be with her.

December 27th 2008

they transferd jasmine to the Heath, cardiff university hospital, they are going to try and teach her to drink from a bottel them she can come home. and i cant wait im going to go home and get everything ready for her, it sound stupid but i cant wait for the sleepless nights and all the nappie changes as i can finally be a mum to her.

January 17th 2009

YAY!!!!!! Jasmine came home to day she wont feed from a bottel so she will be feed through a nasal gravity tube i dont mind im just so glad to have her home as last. she has a long journy ahead of her and another 2 open heart surgerys but she is a fighter and doing well hoping to post lost of photos for every one to see. wish us all luck signing out for now caroline.

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