Journal
Wednesday,Jan 10 2007, 05:45:30 AMSave Me
Save Me
Someone call the ambulance, there’s gonna be an accident,
I’m coming up on Infra Red, there is no running that can hide you,
I’m coming up on infra red, forget your running I will find you, find you
The dulled tune of Placebo rang faintly in my ears over the water, I watched the swirling on the surface peacefully, and then slowly everything faded. Dull empty black.
Screaming, someone shaking me, pounding on my chest. My eyes fluttered open and I saw people standing over me. I tried to speak but my throat was blocked, I coughed, water erupting in my mouth. Someone pulled me forward onto their shoulder, talking quickly. I couldn’t understand, I couldn’t hear that well. Or see. I couldn’t remember what had happened. Arms reached around me, hugging me, holding onto me as if they would never let me go. I drifted away in the sudden warmth they gave me, music still playing. Everything faded again into the blackness I knew too well.
I awoke suddenly in a hospital bed, someone was holding my hand. I looked over at my friend. His eyes were red and sore looking, he had grey streaks on his cheeks from his eyeliner. He’d been crying. He smiled when he saw I was awake.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered, my voice was hoarse and my throat was sore. He stared at me for awhile.
“You drowned…” he said, then paused. “It’s ok, it’s ok” he muttered softly as if to himself. We didn’t speak or do much else for a few hours, we just stared.
In the car home noone spoke at all, my friend had his arm around my shoulders. I stared at the ground or at my hands clasped in my lap. I still didn’t understand what was going on, what had happened. The car stopped outside my house and we got out, my friend still holding onto me, leading me up the driveway and through the front door. I sat on the couch, still looking at the ground. He handed me a glass of water and sat next to me. The next few minutes he explained what he knew and what the doctors had told him. He came in and found me in the bath, motionless, he had carried me out onto the bathroom tiles and tried to regain my consciousness. I’d overdosed sleeping tablets and fell asleep in the bath, he said he saved me. I remembered it all, the memories flooding back. The pills I had to take to cure my insomnia, I wanted to sleep forever. I remember turning on my CD player and lying in the bath, still with my clothes on, I didn’t intend to bathe. I remember the feeling, the relief as I felt my life slip away.
He didn’t save me.
**Infra Red - Placebo, Meds*