didnt really put any entry since i start using it

today(16th may) marked a very special day for me, not as something big happened, not as anything which make me so shocked, but, something change my feeling towards death and relationship

last year, staying in the hospital for the nigth, went back home and a granny passed away to somewhere called "heaven", the place to be the final destination for everyone.....life then changed 180 degrees

you then wont come to lunch with us anymore, you wont buy me bread after school, no one will put money in that little cup every while for my pocket money, you wont be waving in front of the window before i leave for school....you wont be go out to the market to have afternoon tea together....everything and everything......i didnt go into ur room for a long while since so much things had happened in there, such as scolding me, giving me an lecture, watching tv together and so and so

sometimes, u still appeared in my dream and talking to me, i wish that i wake up and that could come true, i know, it wont come true forever...

u passed away, i know that u passed away in the way that you prefer, in that way that you are being respect, in a way with less pain....

you also alert me something important that i need to know, therer is nothink to fear death, befor u leave us, i dont know what death is, after all, u told me that there is fear for death, there is no pain at all, it is just the way to go to ur final destination....no experience befor for losing a relative befor, i know now how it feel to be u......

i know that u would feel helpless staying in hospital all day long and dont know when ur life would come to an end....dont know would u even be able to see that sunrise.....dont know would u see us agian......no body would know until they experince it...it is though to tell in words

hereby, i hope u enjoy ur "new life" in the joyful world with no pain, no disease, no one to disturb u.....

dont know what to say, just know how much we love u, u will stay in our heart forever

孫兒, 文昌 (16th may 2004)

still figuring out how to work this new thing

jeff