Wednesday,Jun 10 2009, 04:35:57 AM WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:



A half-gallon of 2% milk,

A carton of eggs,

A quart of orange juice,

A head of romaine lettuce,

A 2 lb. can of coffee, and

A 1 lb. package of bacon.



As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk

standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."



I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's

intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six Items on the belt and

saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped

off the drunk to my marital status.



Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're

absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"



The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly

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Wednesday,Jun 10 2009, 04:27:24 AM ANGER MANAGEMENT

When I have the occasional bad day and need to take it out on someone,
I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore...

I got the idea one day when I was sitting at my desk & remembered a ...

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Wednesday,Jun 10 2009, 04:20:45 AMHawaiian Sex Education.

A Hawaiian man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively.
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?” ...

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