Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

* Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest Piece.

* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

* Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

* Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

* Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

* Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

* Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

* Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, "See I am not injured yet."

* Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

* Father: A banker provided by nature.

* Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
2. When in doubt,just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously.No one else does.
5. It's OK to get angry with God.He can take it.
6. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
7. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
8. Don't compare your life to others'.You have no idea what their journey is all about.
9. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
10. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.But don't worry;God never blinks.
11. Burn the candles,use the nice sheets,wear the fancy lingerie.Don't save it for a special occasion.Today is special.
12. Be eccentric now.Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
13. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
14. Forgive everyone in life.
15. What other people think of you is none of your business.
16. Time heals almost everything.Give time time.
17. However good or bad a situation is,it will change.
18. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.Your friends will Stay in touch.
19. Believe in miracles.
20. God loves you because of who God is,not because of anything you did or didn't do.
21. Your children get only one childhood.Make it memorable.
22. Get outside every day.Miracles are happening everywhere.
23. Envy is a waste of time.You already have all you need.
24. The best is yet to come.
25. No matter how you feel,get up,dress up and show up.
26. Yield Slow Down.
27. Life isn't tied with a bow,but it's still a gift.
28. ALWAYS BE THANKFUL, TO WHAT YOU HAVE.

I love you not because of who you are ,but because of who I am with you. No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is will not make you cry. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting beside them knowing you can’t have them .never frown, even when you are sad ,because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. To the world you may be one person, but to someone you may be the whole world.
Don’t waste your time on a woman/man, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened .There is always going to be people that hurt you, so that you have to do is keep on trusting and just to be more careful about who you trust next. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. Don’t try so hard ,the best things come when you least expect them to.