I intended, but got side tracked, been spoiled--the horns concert, the violin concert--with tears of recognition for 25 years work by the concert master--compares so differently from my 15 year pin thrown at me by a choleric fanatic that had a stroke and died...what is justice? And the St. Petersburg ballet showing me Romeo and Juliet as a dream within a dream within a dream and slowly dying in love. And all the life showing up in each day, 7 different species of crabs and manatees--mom and baby, roiling the water and tracking, tracking as we hop from pier to pier and then there they surface for a minute beneath and a green heron walking the marina ropes and two double-crested cormorants fighting over a fish they can't swallow, the osprey cracking the branch over head and flying away. And the deafness--yelling while two conversations go simultaneously by people who can't hear but want to reach you convince you keep you entrance you love you and hold you but you can't get past. Dinners and dinners and dinners cooked, investigated and recorded when a pbj would do. Swimming the cold and the heat and the kicks and the serene displacement. What is life but being here in now and taking the breath as if the moon could soak you in a blossom of blood and doom and the cholera of time ticking past your ears. Theres golf and no golf and golf and the sickness of water that doesn't taste like home but settles on your tongue like cream and choking. And where am I? Locked behind an electron that doesn't reach.
beni mellal
Morocco